Bernard Woolley:"Now, may I just have your approval for this Local Government Allowances Amendment Number 2 for this year's regulations."
Jim Hacker:"What is it?"
Bernard Woolley:"It is a Statutory Instrument to be laid before the House. As Minister responsible for local government we need you to authorize that the revised Paragraph 5 of Number 2 Regulations 1971 shall come into operation on March the 18th next, revoking Regulation 7 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulations 1954(b)."
Jim Hacker:"What the hell does all that mean?"
Bernard Woolley:"It is all right, there is an explanatory note, Minister. These Regulations are to make provisions for prescribing the amount of attendance and financial loss allowances payable to the members of local authorities. Explanatory note: Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1971 ("the 1971 regulations") substituted a new regulation for Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations. Regulation 3 of the Local Government Allowances Amendment Regulation 1972 ("the 1972 regulations") further made amends Regulation 3 of the 1954 Regulations by increasing the maximum rates of attendance and financial loss allowances. Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations revoked both regulation 3 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations, Regulation 5 being a regulation revoking earlier spent regulations with the effect from 1st April next. These regulations preserve Regulations 2 and 5 of the 1971 Regulations by revoking Regulation 7 of the 1972 Regulations.
Sir Humphrey:With Trident we could obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
Jim Hacker:I don't want to obliterate the whole of Eastern Europe.
Sir Humphrey:It's a deterrent.
Jim Hacker:It's a bluff. I probably wouldn't use it.
Sir Humphrey:Yes, but they don't know that you probably wouldn't.
Jim Hacker:They probably do.
Sir Humphrey:Yes, they probably know that you probably wouldn't. But they can't certainly know.
Jim Hacker:They probably certainly know that I probably wouldn't.
Sir Humphrey:Yes, but even though they probably certainly know that you probably wouldn't, they don't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would!
THE PRIME MINISTER:I mean, why should we bug Hugh Halifax’s telephone? I mean, one of my own administration. Don’t know where they got such a daft idea. Sheer paranoia
SIR HUMPHREY APPLEBY:Yes, the only thing is…
PM:I mean, why should we listen in to MPs? Boring, stupid ignorant windbags, I do my best not to listen to them. He’s only a PPS. I have enough trouble finding out what’s going on at the Ministry of Defence, what could he know?
SIR HUMPHREY:So I gather you denied that Mr Halifax’s phone had been bugged.
PM:Well, obviously. It was the one question today to which I could give a clear, simple, straightforward, honest answer.
SIR HUMPHREY:Yes. Unfortunately, although the answer was indeed clear, simple and straightforward, there is some difficulty in justifiably assigning to it the fourth of the epithets you applied to the statement inasmuch as the precise correlation between the information you communicated and the facts insofar as they can be determined and demonstrated is such as to cause epistemological problems of sufficient magnitude as to lay upon the logical and semantic resources of the English language a heavier burden than they can reasonably be expected to bear.
PM:Epistemological? What are you talking about?
SIR HUMPHREY:You told a lie.
. . .
PM:But it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t know he was being bugged.
BERNARD WOOLEY:Prime Minister, you are deemed to have known. You are ultimately responsible.
PM:Why wasn’t I told?
SIR HUMPHREY:The Home Secretary might not have felt the need to inform you.
SIR HUMPHREY:Perhaps he didn’t know either. Or perhaps he’d been advised that you did not need to know.
PM:Well I did need to know.
BERNARD:Apparently the fact that you needed to know was not known at the time that the now known need to know was known, and therefore those that needed to advise and inform the Home Secretary perhaps felt that the information that he needed as to whether to inform the highest authority of the known information was not yet known and therefore there was no authority for the authority to be informed because the need to know was not at this time known or needed.
SIR HUMPHREY:We could not know that you would deny it in the House.
THE PM:Well, obviously I would if I didn’t know and I were asked.
SIR HUMPHREY:We did not know that you would be asked when you didn’t know.
THE PM:But I was bound to be asked when I didn’t know if I didn’t know.
How do you get elected? This 26 minute programme looks at our election process, following prospective Members of Parliament as they battle to win the seat of Watford in the 2005 general election. How do candidates get their message across? How do people vote? What do MPs do once elected? But not everyone believes our election system is fair. The programme also investigates different voting systems. Look at the evidence and make your own mind up.
In Yes Minister, Humphrey invokes this to rub in that the Minister has made a bad decision because he wanted to sound important. The Minister has been assigned an awful role, one which Humphrey would have advised him against taking, but he jumped at it because the holder would be described as a “supremo”. When he decides that he doesn’t want it anymore:
Minister: Clearly, the title Transport Supremo is one that is not worth having. We must endeavor to change the Prime Minister’s mind. Sir Humphrey: Do you mean “we” plural or do Supremos now use the royal pronoun?
The place where the best kind of reality TV happens. MPs come to the chamber to make speeches, represent their constituents, support their leaders, vote through laws and generally make a lot of noise.
The are currently 650 Members of Parliament.
All debates are chaired by the Speaker, currently John Bercow, or one of the deputy speakers. The Speaker is also an MP and elected to their position by other MPs, but is required to be impartial. He or she has the power to make rowdy members STFU by use of the magical word ‘ORDER’.
The House of Commons hasn’t quite caught up with the 21st Century and many strange, old-fashioned things can be noticed upon watching any of the proceedings. One is that members are not allowed to refer to each other by their real names. They may name them by constituency: “The honorable member for X” or simply use variations of “The honorable gentleman/lady/friend”. Ministers and shadow ministers are referred to as “Right honorable”.
After the Lib-Con Coalition was created in the aftermath of the 2010 general election, thanks to intrepid LJ users, the fandom was born and quickly took off the ground. It began to develop many in-jokes and memes, complex threads of plotty RP and an impressive wealth of fanfiction and fanart, so the decision was taken to create this wiki as a guide.